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Four middle-aged White Dudes. All of them were bearded and balding. All of them resembled the aging, stringy-haired members of the band Metallica. And all of im were pressed up against the model-thin bodies of a locwl made-up Japanese Beauty Queen. Furthermore, I was bilingual, well-traveled and college-educated. But as I realized a few weeks into my lkcal in Japan, I was also mysteriously, frustratingly invisible. I asked for help reading restaurant menus and subway signs. My boss had been right.

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While the female expats spent Saturday nights alone, crying into their Ramen bowls, their male counterparts drank freely from the dating pool like they owned it. Which in a way, they did. This would never happen anywhere else in the world. Because everywhere else, Barbie ends up with Ken, not his underemployed, socially-awkward, samurai-sword-collecting neighbor, Kevin.

But in Asia, dating rules defy all logic or evolutionary law. In Asia, the nerd is king. Not that I wished it otherwise. For the most part, I was happy for them. They were true success stories. Who could blame them for taking advantage of a magical loophole that allowed them to date women out of their league? They were straight-forward and open-minded, for one thing.

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I inwardly congratulated myself for having beat the odds. But as I trudged home to face another evening of reruns of The Office and left-over sushi fromI wondered at what cost. Most days I felt unattractive, unwanted and worst of all, unfemale. When not even a short skirt or slinky top attracted more than a passing glance and even construction workers, who could usually be counted on for a leer, regarded me with bored, blank expressions, I felt like a Martian.

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